Hello, there! My name is Jennifer Flanders, and I am a faith-walking, husband-loving, home-schooling, hand-crafting, hymn-singing, deep-thinking, book-writing, life-savoring mother of twelve.
I’m also an ardent fan of alliteration and hyphenated adjectives. Can you tell?
I blog at Loving Life at Home about pursuing the high calling of marriage and motherhood with joy, passion, and purpose.
You may also find me on Facebook, Twitter, or Pinterest, as well as at my family website, where I write about organization, home schooling, and large family living. (And if you like free printables, you’ll find a treasure trove of them there.)
Managing such a large household has made me a master of multi-tasking, yet I understand the importance of preserving margin, carving out time for quiet reflection, and maintaining balance.
These tasks are admittedly easier said than done, which explains why I’m such a sporadic blogger. As much as I would love to post more regularly/frequently, my responsibilities to husband and children have called first dibs on my attention. If you’d like to read more from me, you may want to check out my books and/or subscribe to my blogs, so you’ll be notified whenever I do find time to publish a new post.
Hi would like to know which church you are attending?
Hi, Lorena. People sometimes see all our children and assume we must be Catholic or Mormon, but my husband and I tell them we’re just “passionate Baptists.” Ha! Doug’s father was a Southern Baptist preacher, my mom still faithfully attends the same little Baptist church she and Dad were members of when I was born, and Doug and I have gone to either Baptist or non-denominational Bible churches for our entire married life. We are presently attending a church by the name of Grace Community.
God bless you, Jennifer. I pray you are well.
Sorry, I’m looking for your email address to send you a private message, but can’t seem to find it (maybe it’s not easy to find on the mobile site). How may I contact you?
You may write me at flandersfamily(at)flandersfamily(dot)info. Sorry that’s so insanely long. I don’t know what I was thinking when I set it up, but it would be a huge hassle to change it at this point. 🙂
Jennifer,
I enjoy your posts and articles, but Lent and Advent are both man- made and Romanish inventions, and something that born again believers should not be celebrating.
Sincerely,
Virginia
You may be right, Virginia, but certainly the historical event that each holiday has as its focus — Christ’s birth and His death, burial, and resurrection — deserve to be remembered and pondered by every Christian, whether they choose to officially observe Advent and Lent or not.
Undoubtedly, some pagan symbolism has crept into both holidays. Some Christians therefore opt to abstain from celebrating at all; others opt to “redeem” such symbols by assigning Christian meanings to them.
For instance, evergreen trees are symbolic of the eternal life we have in Christ (1 John 5:11-12) and the blessings that come from being planted firmly in God’s word (Psalm 1:2-3). Christmas lights can remind us of the fact that Jesus is the light of the world (John 8:12) and that He commands us to shine as lights to the dark and dying world around us (Philippians 2:15). You get the idea.
I offer these explanations not as an attempt to persuade you to celebrate these holidays yourself, Virginia. If you cannot partake with a clear conscience, you should not partake at all. Rather, I’m just trying to explain that there are many sincere Christians who observe either or both Lent and Advent whose hearts are as free from paganism as they can possibly be.
I think this is at least part of the reason Paul offers us the following injunction in Romans 14:5-12 —
That is sobering, isn’t it? Each of us must one day give account of ourselves to God.
His Word gives explicit commands on some of the issues we face in our culture today (lust, pride, adultery, murder, etc), but there are other matters — like celebrating Christmas or homeschooling your children or forgoing birth control or whether a mother breast- or bottle-feeds — that are really more a matter of preference and circumstance.
We need to be careful not ignore parts of Scripture that specifically address cultural trends, but also not to go beyond what Scripture says in matters of taste. It is a difficult balance to strike sometimes, and I’ve not always done as good job at it as I would like.
But thankfully, God hasn’t given up on me yet! He’s still hard at work, trying to conform me to the image of His blessed Son, and I know He is doing the same for you.
Thanks for writing to me with your concerns, Virginia. I hope I’ve answered most of them and have helped you view this issue from a different perspective.
Is it ok to post your printables on the children’s section of our church web site?
I would be happy for you to include links for our printables on your website, but would prefer that you link to either the printables page or individual posts whenever possible, rather than linking directly to PDF files or uploading our PDFs to your site. For example, if you are interested in sharing our prayer guides with your members, you could either link to our printables page or to these individual post pages:
Praying for Your Husband: https://lovinglifeathome.com/2013/08/01/praying-for-your-husband-from-head-to-toe/
Praying for Your Wife: http://alltruthisgodstruth.com/2013/09/20/praying-for-your-wife-from-head-to-toe/
Praying for Your Children: https://lovinglifeathome.com/2014/01/21/pray-for-your-children-from-head-to-toe/
Praying for Your Parents: https://lovinglifeathome.com/2014/01/25/parents-need-prayer-too/
Praying for Your Teens: https://lovinglifeathome.com/2014/05/23/pray-for-your-teen/
Praying for Your Unborn Child: https://lovinglifeathome.com/2014/05/25/praying-for-your-unborn-child/
One advantage of doing it this way is that all the Scripture references are live in the original posts, so readers read each of them instantly with just one click, without having to flip back and forth through pages of their Bibles to look them all up.
If you are interested in including any of the other printables, you can usually track down the associated blog post by typing the name of the printable in the search bar.
Also, you’ll find many more printables listed on our family website. You are welcome to link to any of those you think would bless your members, as well (but again, please link to the post pages instead of directly to the PDF files). Thanks!
Hi Jennifer, I enjoy your pages, your artwork so much! I had heard that Hip, Hip, Hooray meant “Death to the Jews”. Upon investigation I found it meant “Jerusalem has fallen” with the implication of paradise for the assailants of Jerusalem.
I was reading your poetry of a Manly Man and Hip Hooray jumped out at me.
Here’s 1 article that I’d found: http://www.todayifoundout.com/index.php/2010/09/hip-hip-in-hip-hip-hooray-was-once-an-anti-semitic-phrase/
I certainly appreciated the bookmark formats and your generosity in sharing your pages.
May the God of hope fill you with all peace and you that you may be abounding in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Julie
Thanks for letting me know, Julie. I love etymology, but was not aware of the historical roots of that phrase. Of course, “Jerusalem has fallen” is not a meaning most Americans would commonly associate with the words “Hip, Hip, Hooray” today, but to remove any ambiguity, I’ve changed the line now, both in the posted poem and in the printable bookmarks. I appreciate your educating me on this matter. 🙂
Hi! I’m so glad I found your blog by googling “big family living”. I look forward to reading what you have to say and learning how to have a big family.
Go to [expletive deleted] you heathen. How dare you slander feminism. Get a brain.
And a merry Christmas to you, too, Kassy! 🙂
Just received your books and found this blog. I can’t wait to read them!
Hi Jennifer
I am reading your book ” love your Husband/ Love Yourself and have learnt so much. I am 59 years old and have been married for 36 years and have brought up 7 children who are all following Christ. I heartily recommend this book and will be giving it to all my daughters. Wish I had had it 36 years ago!
Good on you, and God Bless.
My daughters and I just enjoyed reading your article, “25 Ways to Communicate Respect to Your Husband.” We were wondering if you have also written a similar article instructing husbands in ways to respect their wives. We would love to get your opinion on that topic, as well. Thanks so much.
I have not written anything on that topic, but my husband has. His article, 25 Ways to Express Love to Your Wife, provides great guidelines for communicating respect as well.
Thanks Jennifer!!!
Hi Jen! Im a 21 years old girl. although im very young I really wanna take my future marriage for the right way, while im wating for the husband that God have for me I want to learn how to be wife and mom. Your blog helped me a lot. God bless you, Marianne.
PD: Sorry for my english, Im from Dominican Republic 🙂
I’m so glad to hear from you, Marianne. I pray God will reward your patience and preparations with a godly husband and a long and joyful marriage!
Thank you, I really appreciate that 🙂 I will start looking at your site with the tags-I appreciate you doing that!
I appreciate your blog. I’m getting married in 22 days(very excited about it) and I have and am learning a lot about how I should be treating my husband to be. I didn’t really have that good of example growing up and I appreciate your words of wisdom. We are planning to homeschool, and are leaning towards 8 children at this point. I appreciate very much that you keep God involved in your posts and advice-a lot of marriage advice does not do that, and as a Christian who tries to do right, it is helpful.
Any advice/posts you can direct me to for newlyweds? I’m only going to have a weekend with my husband before he goes back to his job for a month and a half, something I’m not looking forward to.
Again, thank you.
I’m so glad you asked, Emily. I’ve gone back and tagged the posts I think might be helpful “newlywed” so that you can find them easily. What a wonderful, exciting season you are in! I pray your marriage will be a long and joyous one, and that God will lavish His richest blessings upon you and your husband (and that those blessings will include those eight children you are hoping for). I’d love to send you a copy of my book, Love Your Husband/ Love Yourself, as a wedding gift. It is chock full of stuff I wish I’d have known as a new bride. Message me your address, and I’ll drop one in the mail to you right away.
I’m not sure how to message you?
You can email me at flandersfamily(at)flandersfamily(dot)info, Emily.
Thank you for your words of wisdom! I am really appreciating your insights especially in with the respect aspect of loving your husband. I’ve been married for almost 9 years and I still feel perfectly clueless about what the practical application of respecting your husband looks like. Having some concrete suggestions has been really helpful. Thank you!
Dear Jennifer, I so much appreciated the article, “25 ways to communicate respect to your husband.” It was excellent! I would like to place this on my personal Christian website. I would put the source at the end of the article. Besides this, if I should find other articles you have written, may I have permission to use them also? Thank you so much and may God bless you.
I would be happy for you to reblog my “25 Ways to Communicate Respect” with a link back to my site, Richard. I’d like to take a look at your website before I give a blanket permission to reprint any other articles, though. Would you send me a link?
How about my husband listening to me… and doing all the things you say to do for the husband? What about treating me with more respect. I was in a coma for two weeks after our last baby and all he had to say was how hard it was that he had to cook, clean and take care of our kids and not in I repect you more kind of way. Our pastor asked me to forgive him. It hurts every day.
It sounds like you and your husband have had a rough go of it, Maggie. I don’t know how long it has been since your last baby was born, but I pray you will make a complete recovery, both physically and emotionally.
You are absolutely right that your husband should listen to you and treat you with respect and compassion. No doubt about it. Scripture commands husbands to love their wives with the same self-sacrificing love that Christ demonstrates for the church.
That’s a tall order, don’t you think? It is a directive — in fact — that NO HUSBAND will ever be able to fulfill perfectly. Every man will fall short in one area or another at some time in his life, even if his heart’s deepest desire is to be obedient to Scripture and to honor God in all his doings, including how he treats his wife. (see Romans 7)
The real question, I think, is not “Shouldn’t/couldn’t my husband do a better job of demonstrating respect/love/compassion toward me?” but “Doesn’t the fact that he falls short negate my responsibility of extending respect/love/forgiveness toward him?”
The answer to that question is: No. No, it does not.
You do not have control over your husband’s attitudes or actions, but you have complete control over your own. You can (and should) choose to do the right and God-honoring thing, regardless of what anybody else is (or is not) doing.
I know you are still hurting inside over what you consider the callous attitude of your husband, Maggie, but your pastor is 100% right in saying that you need to forgive him. Harboring bitterness and resentment is a sure way to destroy not only your marriage, but your health and sanity, as well.
Your husband was stating a fact. It WAS hard to cook and clean and take care of the children while you were in the hospital. Plus, with you in the coma, he had the added concern (whether it was ever voiced or not) that he might lose you altogether. That is a heavy load for anybody to deal with! He may not have told you those things in a respect-you-more kind of way, but you can be certain he is more keenly aware now of all the myriad things you do to keep your home and family running smoothly. Whether that knowledge ever gets expressed as appreciation or not, you know that it is at least stored up inside of him somewhere. Let that be enough, and forgive him freely, as Christ has forgiven you.
Hi Jennifer! I can upon your blog while putting togehter information for a marriage intensive workshop my husband and I are putting on at our church. It has really blessed me. I would like to share your lisf of 25 ways to love your husband with our ladies during the women’s breakout. Can I get your permission to do that and quote you on the paper? Thanks for being a blessing and a warrior for Marriages! Whitney
Hi, Whitney. I’d love for you to share my “25 Ways to Show Respect” at your marriage conference. You’ll find two different ready-to-print versions of the article (both free) by following this link: http://www.flandersfamily.info/web/marriage/25-ways-to-show-respect/. One is the full article and the other is a one-page summary. Feel free to use or distribute either at your seminar.
Can I ask where you got the quote from Mrs. Graham “tell your mate the positive, and tell God the negative?” I love that quote and have used it on my blog. By the way, i love your blog! Blessings, Lori
I don’t know the original source of the quote, Lori, but I first saw it cited by Bob Barnes on p. 25 of his book, What Makes a Man Feel Loved
.
Hi Jennifer,
I’ve found your blog through Pinterest. I feel I’m at a crossroads in my life. I feel I’m missing something and although I have always believed in God I have not been a practicing Christian. I think that is about to change and the more I read these wonderful faith based blogs such as yours the more I feel I am heading in the right direction.
So glad to hear it, Jodie. I pray God will direct your steps through this crossroads, and that you’ll discover the joy of having a personal relationship with Christ (which is what being a Christian really means). Jesus came that we might have life, and have it more abundantly (John 10:10). It is wonderful that reading faith-based blogs has caused you to think about these things, but I’d recommend you go straight to the source and spend some time reading God’s word, as well. The Gospel of John would be a great place to start. You can read it online at Bible.cc, just follow this link.
I’d love for you to write back sometime to update me on the progress of your faith-walk, Jodie. Getting started is easy: “If you confess with your mouth Jesus is Lord, and believe in you heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” (Romans 10:9) “For by grace are you saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God, not of works, so that no one should boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9)
Hello Jennifer. I found your site tonight by looking at “Pinterest”–it’s a weakness of mine, I confess! I have seen some bad things on there; but also some good things. And YOUR site is one of the BEST things I’ve seen in a long time. And I have to tell you; that this week; my three sisters and I; who all live in different states; have been emailing our prayers for each other and for our whole family back and forth; and one of the last ‘sets’ of emails we sent to each other had to do with marriage. And since we are all women (Saved women); we have been praying for each other and well as for all of the other marriages in the family; that we as women would know how to treat our husbands and to show them Godly respect. When I saw your article about the 25 ways we can show our husbands respect; I chuckled! God was confirming things we had been praying about. I sent my sisters your site with that article; and also sent them your husband’s site so they can share that with their husbands. Thank you for taking the time to keep this site maintained; and for all you do to preach and live The Gospel. I pray The Lord would draw you; your husband; and whole family nearer and nearer to Him all the days of your lives; and keep you in His Truth.
And please; “Don’t grow weary in your well-doing”! God bless; take care, Sincerely, Cindy M.
You are very inspiring!
I was wondering if you could elaborate more on a husband who is not interested. Especially in the intimacy and affection department. I really struggle with this because this is how I feel loved. I have expressed concern to my husband about this.
I assume you’ve already read my article “How to Handle a Disinterested Husband.” I’m afraid that about exhausts all the advice I can offer in this area. I have no personal experience with a disinterested spouse, but have heard from enough wives who do that I wanted to address it as best I could; however, I know that Focus on the Family publishes a wealth of information dealing with all sorts of marital difficulties, including low sex drive in men. I encourage you to go to their site and have a look around.
Jennifer:
I just found your website through pinterest and signed up for your blog. I appreciate you putting yourself out there. Judging from some of the comments on your 25 Ways article, not everyone agrees with your (our) perspective. Thanks for being peculiar! The darkness hates the light and always will. I hope their nasty comments roll right off your back. God bless your efforts!
you are an inspiration .. its easy to get married, but it takes work to stay married. I find your blog very encouraging and helpful.
Wow! Going through a rough patch in my marriage, saw you 25 things on pinterest. It really made me think, I am guilty of many of these. I guess I need to try harder. Justed wanted to let you know how helpful they were. Thanks Annie
Hi Jennifer! I just wanted to let you know that I just finished reading Glad Tidings (I got it from Book Crash), and absolutely loved it. Thank you so much for sharing these letters with the rest of the world. I’ll continue following your blog, but just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated reading the letters. God bless you and your family! Here’s my review of the book: http://arielkprice.wordpress.com/2012/01/10/glad-tidings/
Thanks, Ariel. I’m so glad you enjoyed it. I appreciate your kind words.