Turn Your Thinking Around

      24 Comments on Turn Your Thinking Around

Have you bought into society’s low view of marriage? It’s time to turn your thinking around. Read through the following statements from top to bottom, then bottom to top. Which better reflects what you believe? (Personally, I believe this is one instance that backward thinking makes the best sense).

It's Time to Turn Your Thinking Around : Re-examining What We Believe about Marriage | Loving Life at Home

What Society Teaches about Marriage:
(read top to bottom)

Modern day marriages don’t last
That is why
You should only look out for #1
It is foolish to think
You can live happily ever after
By giving your all
To build up your man
Take whatever measures are necessary
To maintain your autonomy
Don’t worry about trying
To give 110%
Always remember instead
That marriage is a 50-50 proposition
Don’t think for a minute
Your husband will respond in kind
If you treat him with respect
That’s a lie
Being a submissive wife makes you a doormat
I don’t believe
Marriage is worth the sacrifice

What Christianity Teaches about Marriage:
(read bottom to top)

“Turn Your Thinking Around: Time to Reconsider What We’ve Been Taught about Marriage”
Copyright Jennifer Flanders, 2014. First published on Loving Life at Home

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24 thoughts on “Turn Your Thinking Around

  1. Sarah Trageser

    Permission to reprint?? I would LOVE to have postcards of this post on the tables at my wedding reception in August! How do I request/obtain official permission? Thank you for this wonderful site!

      1. Sarah Trageser

        I am delighted to use the bookmark file, thank you so much! =)
        Greatly looking forward to future reading here once the planning and move are done; maybe starting on honeymoon. Already read to Jason the 25 ways love your wife / show respect to your husband. Many thanks again.

  2. Melanie

    Great! If only men and women went into marriage thinking “This is not for me,” but instead, “to the glory of God” we’d have lasting marriages.

  3. munywoki

    I just happened on your blog today. I love, love, love it!
    I am getting married in 46 days and I am absolutely excited about it!
    What material can you recommend?

  4. Paige

    I have to respectfully disagree with you here. Why shouldn’t marriage be a 50-50 effort? Why is it only the woman’s responsibility to make things work? Seeking a partner who accepts equal responsibility isn’t looking out for #1, it’s actually looking out for both people. That’s the real problem. One-sided relationships aren’t fun for long.

    1. Jennifer Flanders Post author

      When I say that a wife should give 110%, Paige, in no way do I mean to imply that a husband need only contribute -10%. I think he should be giving 110%, too. You are absolutely right that one-sided relationships aren’t fun for long… but then, neither are relationships in which each partner’s primary concern is doing exactly their fair share and not one smidgen more. To be everything a marriage was intended to be, both husband and wife must pour themselves fully into the relationship without holding back. That entails complete trust, unswerving commitment, and a life-long, whole-hearted investment in their future TOGETHER.

    2. Tessa Rempe

      I think that she means you should always give 100% to your relationship. Not hold back. Then hopefully your husband will respond in kind. Then you will both be giving 100%. If a marriage is struggling and either spouse decides they are only going to meet halfway and not give their all it won’t get better. That’s my interpretation anyway.:)

  5. kaitlynbergen

    Incredible! Did you write this? I found your blog a while ago, and have found it to be refreshing and so eyeopening. Many of your posts are written about marriage, and though I am not married I am learning a lot! Reading about your experiences and the lessons you’ve learned over the past can help either those who are married or those who aren’t. Your words of wisdom are greatly needed in this world! Thank you for being willing to share!

    1. Jennifer Flanders Post author

      Thanks, Kate. Yes, I wrote it. I saw a similar treatment of Christian/Atheist views, and thought the technique would lend itself well to the topic of marriage, as I hear such polarized opinions of what constitutes a good one. I’m happy to hear that you’ve been blessed, encouraged, and challenged by the things you’ve read on my blog. That’s been my goal and prayer from its inception.

    1. Jennifer Flanders Post author

      I saw the same thing, Lea, which is what inspired this one. Funny how different folks can think so backward from one another. It really is a case of calling black white and vice versa, but it takes God’s opening one’s eyes to realize that.

  6. Robin

    Beautiful and so true! Believe it or not if everyone would share the sentiment from bottom to top wouldn’t our spouses and our children live in everlasting love and blessings. Thank you for sharing, I will pass this on. Blessings to you and enlightened work you do, Robin Long Island, NY


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