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  1. I want to avoid conflict, and prefer to not argue. When a seemingly innocent observation is answered with a sling and a barb I crawl inside my shell and want to die. I was an attorney for a lifetime of litigation and negotiation. It was easier for me to avoid the emotional cost of arguments when I worked for clients than it is now that I am retired and all arguments are between family members or friends. The emotional toll is severe, possibly because I spent a lifetime trying to solve interpersonal problems and perhaps just burned out in the effort.
    This is particularly true between husband and wife. I now look for ways to avoid any exchange that is confrontational.
    As a result, I need better coping methods. An article of conduct that will end these emotionally charged exchanges.
    Silence is the only remedy I have found. When I offer an observation and it stirs debate, I back off and give away the topic to silent meditation.
    Believe me this practice is not easy. And I, by no means, succeed a majority of the time. When I have my wits about me, however, this method seems to work.

    I hope it does for you. I pray for more insight and more determination to utilize this remedy with grace.


    1. Yes, I can see how it would take more of an emotional toll when an argument involves loved ones rather than business acquaintances. But I admire your determination to “abandon a quarrel before it breaks out.”

  2. No two persons are the same. More the number of people, more will be the number of opinions. Different opinions should only lead to disagreements, not to disrespecting and demeaning the other person.
    It is impossible to avoid quarrel.

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