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  1. hey so if you’re going to dispense medical advice, you should probably qualify that and say that you’re not actually a medical practitioner of any kind. if you want to know about birth control methods, ask your GP or OBGYN, not a random lady on the internet. it seems as though a lot of the information presented here is a bit tainted with bias, which is not how anyone should be receiving medical advice. many forms of birth control actually prevent ovulation all together, which would not make them abortifacients (if that is even a concern of yours), and side effects vary from person to person.

    1. Dear concerned human being: You are right. I am not a medical practitioner of any kind. I did, however, marry a man with an MD, and the risks listed in this post came straight out of one of his medical school textbooks — only I had to condense the information somewhat, as there were actually seven full pages of known adverse side effects associated with using hormonal contraceptives, many of which were extremely serious, even life-threatening. That list not only convinced us never to use the Pill ourselves, but also compelled us to warn others about the dangers of using that form of birth control since, unless she asks specifically, a woman may not hear it from her OB-GYN.

      1. Firstly, just becase you have access to the information doesn’t mean you’re qualified to interpret and dispense it. Anyone can read a medical text book. That doesn’t make you a doctor.
        Secondly, most medicines people take have a long list of horrible side effects. I’m on three that could do anything from make all my hair fall out to straight-up kill me. Most (vast, vast majority) people who take those medicines will never experience them. Sometimes people have to take those medicines anyway for serious health problems and they have little or no other choice.
        Also, condoms are a thing. A very good, easy thing for couples who want to prevent pregnancy and avoid medicated birth control. You might mention those as an option.

        1. Yes, Hannah, if I were going to use any kind of birth control, condoms are the way I’d go — especially given the long list of horrible things that sometimes happen to some people who take the Pill. Even if the incidence is rare, as you imply (though I’ve never met even one Pill user who didn’t experience at least one of the side effects on the list), why take any unnecessary risks if you don’t have to?

  2. Invite God into the bedroom, after all, He invented sex! When you are married and give yourselves completely to each other in the marital embrace, the 1 flesh union, it seems to me to be a slap in the face of God, to block what He might want to bless you with. The marital act is the physical manifestation of the vows you made at the altar – to give yourselves to each other Freely, Fully, Faithfully, Fruitfully, and Forever. Hold nothing back, give 100%! And fruitfully means life-giving, which may or may not involve wee ones! If you prayerfully discern that now is not the time to start or continue your family, then you don’t engage in the activity that (studies now show) causes babies!! We are only fertile maximum 6 days out of the cycle and probably closer to 4 days. Natural Family Planning (NFP) or Fertility Care pinpoints that fertile window, and is highly effective. I teach couples to read the signs of their bodies that tell them when they are fertile and when they are not. The couple then makes decisions on intimacy based on this information, and their openness to God’s Will. There can be serious reasons for postponing or limiting your family, for sure, but it seems far too often, it’s society dictating the “norms” and 2 or 3 kids is sufficient, and we can’t afford another one, and …,which I find very sad. How did our parents and grandparents do it? Growing up (#6 out of 8 kids), everyone in the neighborhood had big families – it was so much fun, so much joy, so many hand me downs! We felt sorry for the family that only had 3 kids! Remember God’s 1st command to Adam & Eve in the garden “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it”. Be blessed with a quiverfull, if God desires it of you. Then again, we are never guaranteed good fertility, so I caution couples to not wait too long before starting their family.

    Be open to God’s plan – GFP is always the best – God’s Family Planning, trusting Him and that He has the best plan for you and your family. And if you feel you must limit your family, respect God’s design and don’t interfere with God’s creative plans. He designed sex to = babies and bonding. That is serious business! Periodic abstinence from the marital embrace takes sacrifice and constant communication, self-control (self-mastery), and embracing God’s design (or “how we are made” if you’re not into “that God thing”!). It is even biblical (1 Cor 7:3-5), and the benefits to the marriage are phenomenal. “Open Embrace” is still an excellent book, and despite the couple’s outcome, NFP is 95-99% effective (98-99+% with an instructor), and the divorce rate is 1-5%. Wow!

    BTW, Contraception (abortifacient or not) can too often lead to using and infidelity – you can get away with it now! And she’s available at all times! Divorce started rising greatly when contraception became more widespread – maybe not completely causative, but highly correlative.

    God’s many blessings for you and your future husband. Be praying for him and his chastity/purity!
    Annie 🙂
    Passionate Fertility Care/NFP instructor!

  3. I really appreciate your advice, Jennifer. I agree with everything you said, except I would caution you not to recommend Open Embrace. Even though I agree with much of what it says, I think it should not be promoted. Sadly, the couple who wrote it later had a divorce and turned against what they wrote in the book.

  4. Dear Curious but Concerned
    You came to the right place with your question and God Bless you for that. Jesus said “Wisdom is justified of her children.” A very apt verse for Birth Control, even if it might be a bit out of context. Never take your fertility lightly as the pain of not being able to have children can be severe as well. Let God open and close your womb and give control of your life to him and especially your fertility as it is such a precious thing.

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