EP 29: How to Find Lasting Happiness

Why does happiness elude so many people who search for it? If you’ve ever wondered how to find lasting happiness, this episode of Loving LIfe at Home is for you.

The reason most people never find the deep and abiding sense of joy they seek is because they are looking in the wrong places. Happiness was never intended to be our primary goal; rather, it’s a fringe benefit to a life well-lived. 

Find and fulfill the ultimate purpose for which you’ve been put on this planet, and you’ll find true happiness as well. The six tips I’m sharing on the podcast this week can help you identify that purpose and work toward it with intentionality.

The content for this episode comes from a blog post I wrote nearly 10 years ago called “6 Simple Secrets of Extremely Happy People (which you can read in its entirety below today’s show notes).

The same principles and practices that made me joyfully content when I first penned this article continue to do so today. And I hope they will do the same for you.

6 Simple Secrets of Extremely Happy People

Today I’m fielding a question on how to find lasting happiness and am also providing scriptures for you to meditate upon as you consider these things.

Question: How can I be a happier person?

I received the following message on my “Love Your Husband” Facebook page this week:

I just came across your write up on how to ruin your marriage. I have to say that I am guilty on all counts. However I am not a happy woman and I don’t feel competent enough to be a career woman, a mother, and a wife. I would love to be a very happy person again, if and when you get this message please could you help me out with scriptures that will help me. I desperately need to be a better wife and mother. Thank you and God bless you and your family.

I wanted to respond quickly, so I searched for things I’d already written that might address this reader’s question. I’ve written one post on “Cultivating Contentment,” another on “Creating a Happy Home,” and yet another called “Don’t Let Anything Steal your Joy.”

They are all great articles that address different aspects of this topic, but when it comes to listing specific Scriptures that might help an unhappy person find her way out of the pit, I came up empty.

It’s not that such verses don’t exist — they do! It’s only that I’ve never taken time to create a list of them. Until now.

I know lots of people struggle with being happy, joyful, and content. If you are one of them, I pray these thoughts and verses will help you, as well.

Answer: Six simple secrets to lasting happiness

1. Happiness starts with God.

   I’m sure non-believers have happy moments, but I have never met anybody with a deep, abiding sense of joy who does not credit it to a strong, personal relationship with the Creator. God made us, He made our emotions, He gave us the capacity to feel happiness, and He has provided the means by which we can experience happiness, both here on earth and throughout eternity:

   • “The LORD is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving.” (Psalm 28:7, NLT)
   • “For the LORD your God is living among you. He is a mighty savior. He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” (Zephaniah 3:17, NLT)
   • “Then my soul will rejoice in the LORD and delight in his salvation.” (Psalm 35:9, NIV)
   • “The thief’s purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them a rich and satisfying life.” (John 10:10, NLT)

    

2. Happiness springs from gratitude.

   More often than not, unhappy people are ungrateful people, and vice versa. They focus on what they don’t have instead of being thankful for what they do have. You cannot feel truly grateful and completely miserable at the same time, so rather than enumerating your troubles, practice counting your blessings instead. Offer up a prayer of thanksgiving for each one. Buy a stack of cards and write notes of thanks to people who have helped you along the way. Say thank you in person to those who do kind things for you. Put to death any notions of entitlement and accept every new grace with unmitigated appreciation and delight.

   • “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. 7And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:6-7)
   • “…be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (Ephesians 18-20, NIV)
   • “O come, let us sing for joy to the LORD, Let us shout joyfully to the rock of our salvation. Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving, Let us shout joyfully to Him with psalms.” (Psalm 95:1-2, NASB)
   • “Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. For the LORD is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting And His faithfulness to all generations.” (Psalm 100:4-5, NASB)

    

3. Happiness sees the good.

   Focus on the positive. Look on the bright side. Search for the silver lining. As Martha Washington once observed, “The greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” Resolve to maintain a cheerful disposition in whatever circumstance you find yourself.

   • “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” (Philippians 4:8, KJV)
   • “For you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth).” (Ephesians 5:8-9, NASB)
   • “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22-23, NASB)
   • “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8, NLT)

    

4. Happiness says no to grudges.

   Nothing edges happiness out of a heart faster than bitterness. The two cannot co-exist. Whether for major offenses or minor irritations, be quick to extend forgiveness to those who have wronged you. Do not harbor grudges or give place to resentment — doing so will steal your joy.

   • “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” (Mark 11:25, NIV)
   • “Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you.” (Ephesians 4:31-32, NASB)
   • “So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” (Colossians 3:12-14, NASB
   • “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.” (Matthew 6:14-15, NASB)

    

5. Happiness serves others gladly.

   Deep, abiding joy does not focus on what others can do for me, but on what I can do for others. As a wife and mother, you have built-in others to think about. Ask God to help you tend to their needs with a glad and grateful heart. Recognize that relationships take work, and do it heartily, knowing that God loves a cheerful giver.

   • “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters…” (Colossians 3:23, NIV)
   • “…serve one another humbly in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.'” (Galatians 5:13-14, NIV)
   • “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” (1 Peter 4:10, NIV)
   • “Serve the LORD with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing.” (Psalm 100:2, NASB)

    

6. Happiness strives toward the goal.

   Keep an eternal perspective. Don’t let doubts or discouragements cloud your perception. Don’t let anything distract you from tending to the things that really matter most…

   • “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary. So then, while we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, and especially to those who are of the household of the faith.” (Galatians 6:9-10, NASB)
   • “…one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:13-14, NASB)
   • “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12, NIV)
   • “Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win. Everyone who competes in the games exercises self-control in all things. They then do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. Therefore I run in such a way, as not without aim; I box in such a way, as not beating the air; but I discipline my body and make it my slave, so that, after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified.” (1 Corintians 9:24-27, NASB)

    

What more happiness out of life? These are the principles you’ll need to practice to find it, along with Scriptures to back them up.

I consider myself an extremely happy person, and these are my secrets to maintaining a joyful outlook. If you can think of other ideas that might help, please share them in the comment section below.