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  1. Jazakallah. Navigating the delicate balance of opposite-sex friendships in marriage is challenging, requiring open communication and mutual respect. Your insights emphasize the importance of prioritizing the marital bond and fostering a secure, exclusive connection.

    1. Thank you for that blessing, Talha. I’m glad all those points came across clearly. Perhaps something I did not emphasize enough in this article is my reliance on Jesus to keep my marriage strong healthy, which is one reason my husband and I pray together every day. For a glimpse at how faith in Christ can impact every facet of your life, including marriage, you might enjoy reading a few of these Stories of Hope.

  2. In response to “guest says MARCH 18, 2018 AT 12:16 AM”
    Huge red flag after 3 years of marriage. Your wife’s commitment is weak. If you are not number 1 in her heart and desire, then you need to love and embrace the pain and end it now. It will turn to disaster when you build your marriage and she undermines it in the future.
    Consider yourself extremely fortunate that her true nature has come out after only 3 years of supposed commitment. God is testing your morality and manhood, so do not choose to be a doormat. Your “wife” is probably a narcissist who has captured your emotionally, who will eventually drain the life out of you.

  3. This is really nice, I deliberated search for this and i got the answer i needed and also from the few comments about keeping opposite sex friends. I’m glad that the write-up didn’t shun it but everything should have limits. I meet people quite alot both same sex and opposite sex that are interesting and i enjoy both company, is just that the opposite sex seem to be more encouraging, helpful and generous and our conversation is usually on the phone and during work when am actually bored.
    Anyway I will try and keep my distance, find some other things to replace the act because as much as am free to discuss with my husband, I don’t think he will like me keeping many male friends.
    Thanks alot

  4. This is why so many marriages fail. It’s the lack of friendships with the opposite sex. Having close male or female friends is equally important than being happily married. Most people just don’t realize or deny that! This article made me sad. But it’s cultural. In Europe it is totally okay to hang out with friends of the opposite sex. I can’t believe anyone could say it’s not allowed or inappropriate. It’s natural to desire a connection with more than one person. Just on a non sexual basis. I agree you should be faithful and respectful. But keeping the opposite sex reduced to just a brief conversation is like putting a leash on their neck. It would eventually lead to divorce too.

    1. I cannot speak as to why people in Europe divorce, but the idea that divorces there are due to married individuals not having enough close friendships with the opposite sex seems ludicrous.

      The vast majority (though not all) of stateside divorces I’ve personally witnessed have been the result of one or both spouses becoming much too close/intimate with some other opposite-sex friend. So I stand by the advice in this article.

      Of course married men and women will still have interactions with members of the opposite sex, but for the sake and sanctity of their marriage, each should consciously and willingly limit the scope of such interactions and avoid spending an inordinate amount of one-on-one time in the company of any opposite-sex friend other than their spouse.

  5. Wow. After reading this, my mind is blown. How little confidence and trust must you have in your spouse, that you expect them to drop their previous friendships and lives because you’re married? I’ve been married for over 15 years with my husband, both of us have friends of both sexes, some from childhood, others from college, and some are colleagues from work that we have met after we have gotten married. I have several male friends that I am close to and we exchange advice, as he has several fenale friends. Me being a pediatrician and him being an aviation engineer and a pastor, we can hardly ask each other for professional advice in our respective expertise. However, I will put my hand into fire to state that he has never cheated on me, and I haven’t and will never cheat on him. We have complete faith in each other and three beautiful children to prove it. It’s when a marriage begins to feel like a prison and when you try to control each other that things begin to fall apart. As the famous quote says, “love one another, but make not bondage out of love. Rather let it be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. And stand together, yet not too near together, for the two pillars that support the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow, but not in each other’s shadow.” As a woman and a man of God, we shouldn’t discriminate which of our brothers and sisters will continue to be in our lives as friends, solely on the basis of sex. I have said my two cents on the subject. I feel sorry for other men and women that live in fear and insecurity because they can’t trust their spouse. It must be a truly stressful existence.

    1. If you really read my entire post, Ingrid, and not just the title, then you know I am not calling for married couples to cut off all contact with the opposite sex. That would be virtually impossible. But the husband’s question that prompted this post was not concerned about his wife’s routine interactions with male colleagues or coworkers. He was asking whether she should pour large amounts of time and energy into an intimate relationship with a male friend to whom she is unrelated. And I stand by my original answer: That kind of behavior is a recipe for disaster.

  6. My wife recently asked for “space” in our relationship. We’ve been married for three years. She starting playing a social game that involves mostly the opposite sex. She has started staying in our rent house and I know she has had some of these guy friends over while I’m not allowed to speak to her per the separation agreement. I can’t help but to think what could be going on. This article reaffirms my beliefs that she shouldn’t spend time alone with other men no matter how innocent. Things happen sometimes and making a decision to hang around another man without me is setting yourself for failure. I’m so hurt and in an emotional tornado about the situation. I can’t sleep or eat. My therapist has been M.I.A. to give guidance. Lord help me!

    1. I am so saddened to read about your situation and am praying for you and your wife this morning, that God will intervene, bring her home, and transform your marriage into everything He designed it to be.

    2. I cannot put into words how hurt I feel for you upon reading your story. This is unacceptable and IS ADULTERY!! May God give you the strength to either forgive and drive these men OUT IMMEDIATELY AND WITHOUT COMPROMISE, or to move on and start a new life, with someone who actually loves you, especially if you have not yet had any children. The devilish audacity!! Where are the men with spine, here??!! How can we sugar-coat something so despicable and completely unacceptable. These “men” must never set foot on your soil – PERIOD!! WHAT AN OUTRAGE!

      1. This is true. No married man should have to deal with another man who does not get the clue that hanging with married women is ok. If a woman wants to run around with man friends and call it nothing then she needs to be single.

  7. too soft. you are called to tell the truth. not sugarcoat it with ‘grey areas’. these so called ‘friendships’ should be off limits. period.

  8. AMEN!! We are called to forsake all others when we become 1 with our spouse. Sharing time, activities, sharing a meal (“we’re co-workers, we gotta eat lunch!”) is a very intimate activity. “Ah, he laughs at my jokes, he really listens to me, and he compliments me, (unlike hubbie perhaps). This is the evil one’s perfect set up to put a wedge in and tear down marriages, even if “it started out innocent enough”. And it could be emotional infidelity, not necessarily physical infidelity.

    I caution my NFP, Natural Family Planning (and GFP, God’s Family Planning) couples strongly against “innocent enough” meals or outings with someone of the opposite sex who is not their spouse. I have 2 examples of this, which ended in divorce, in my immediate family (we’re 8 kids), so it hits home sadly. My husband and I include each other on emails and texts that are going out to or responding to someone of the opposite sex. God bless you and your “yes!” to God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it!”

    As far as Eph 5: “Wives, be submissive to your husbands…”, if a husband is Godly and following Christ and the spiritual leader of the family, wouldn’t a wife want to be under her husband’s mission (sub-mission), who is under God’s mission? We specifically chose this as 1 of our readings at our Wedding, because we knew it would rouse our families and get discussions going, and better understanding of what marriage truly is.

    God’s many continued blessings,
    Annie :^)

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