Similar Posts


  1. Thank you for your response, I appreciate it. I understand your point and I do agree that our wonderful men often have wonderful solutions. I find that there is usually only room for them after listening first to the feelings because those are the biggest problem..
    Thank you inspirational blogs, I love them. It feels to me that you are very honest, I love it that you say what you think! We continually need to be reminded of how to love our husbands how God wants us to love them !

  2. I totally disagree with you. As Shaunti Feldhahn says in her books, based on research on both men and women, men just need to know that listening is most of the time THE solution! Usually when a problem pops up, the problem is the feelings the woman has about the matter and the man can easily acknowledge them and the problem is solved! Listening is the key when a woman has a problem and it has nothing to do with pride, just the way the WOMAN is wired. It is funny how you use a picture and video which underline that a guy needs to just listen (and sometimes give advice) and your interpretation is completely different.

    My husband and I talked over what is said this article. He said it is way easier for him now he knows what I need when there is a problem, just a hug and understanding. He is so good at it!! It is easier for men to do that than for a woman to not be able to pour her heart out and swallow away trivial matters.

    1. I have enjoyed Shaunti Feldhahn’s books, too, Conja. I do not mean to imply that a woman should swallow her feelings and not discuss things with her husband. My point is that our husbands often see things from a different perspective and naturally come up with solutions that may not have occurred to us. We should give them the freedom to express themselves, just as we’re asking them to do for us. It is fine to let your guy know upfront that a solution is not required or expected, but if a good one happens to occur to him in the midst of his listening, he should be free to share it, and we would be smart to hear him out.

      You are welcome to disagree with me on this, but if you think the video that says it’s not about the nail really means it’s not about the nail, then you’ve missed the point there, too. It is obviously about the nail. Her sweaters are snagging, her head is throbbing, and her husband knows why. Yes, the video underscores the importance of a husband being sensitive and listening to his wife, but I think the visual message is that — sometimes — a husband knows what he’s talking about, and his wife would do well to listen to him.

    2. I totally disagree with you 🙂 Even though Shaunti says that about her man, in our home it’s the opposite. My husband wants the listening ear and I am the fix er upper. I can not even begin to fathom why he would want to just use me as his garbage can, when I can see that he has a legitimate problem and I have an answer that has alluded him causing him problems. Watching him in pain is very difficult for me, when I could fix ‘the nail’, but it does help me to see that if I just reverse the process, ie listen to him, and give him a hug he would feel better. It doesn’t make a lick of sense to my brain, but if it helps him, that is my goal, so I will try it.

  3. So true,thanks for sharing hope more men read this as well. This will keep the roof from leaking,and everyone happy inside the house.

  4. I had a friend give us a verbal tool to help us differentiate from times to listen and times to offer solutions. She calls it Garbage Can Vs Toolbox. Garbage can means I just need a listening ear and a hug whereas Tool Box means I am looking for a solution. This simple phrase has helped us since we heard it. Now if one of us in uncertain of what our spouse is looking for we can ask ” honey, do you want me to trash can or tool box”. I have also used it to start my conversation as well ” honey, I need to trash can about…..”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.