EP 119: Q&A – Homeschool Schedules, Records, and Teaching Multiple Ages

Today I’m tackling some of the questions that have piled up in my inbox and DMs lately from listeners and subscribers. And since a bunch of those inquiries are related to the topic of homeschooling, I’ll answer those questions first, including…

1. What, exactly, are your responsibilities as a homeschool mom
2. How soon should you start formal lessons?
3. How to schedule lessons for multiple students in a broad range of ages
4. How to stay on top of chores while still doing lessons
5. What kind of records and papers to keep and what can be safely thrown away

Q&A: Homeschool Schedules, Records, and Teaching Multiple Ages

Complete Transcript from Episode 119

Hello, Friend.

Welcome to Episode 119 of Loving Life at Home. As I promised last week, today I plan to tackle some of the questions that have been piling up in my inbox and DMs from listeners and subscribers. And since a bunch of those questions are related to the topic of homeschooling, I think I’ll lead off with a homeschool Q&A episode and answer those first. So buckle up! We’re going to cover a wide range of questions, including…

1. What, exactly, are your responsibilities as a homeschool mom
2. How soon should you start formal lessons?
3. How to schedule lessons for multiple students in a broad range of ages
4. How to stay on top of chores while still doing lessons
5. What kind of records and papers to keep and what can be safely thrown away
6. How to handle kids with bad attitudes
7. What to do when you feel like giving up or quitting
8. What to do if your children feel like quitting
9. How to nurture your marriage when homeschooling requires all your energy

So let’s start at the beginning with…

1. What are my responsibilities as a homeschool mom?

One reader writes: “I’ve been reading your newsletters for many years and quietly appreciate them. I’m not sure if I have reached out before or not but wanted to say thank you. I am a homeschool mom to two teenage boys and one little girl, and a wife of 20 years. This year has me perplexed, however, on what my jobs actually are and why. I’m grabbing on to any direction I can. Thank you for taking time to encourage strangers in addition to all the other important people in your life.”

That’s a great question. I released an episode a couple weeks ago on a mother’s job description, but homeschool moms have some extra responsibilities piled on, for sure. And the thing is, these responsibilities and expectations evolve as our kids grow older. So they’re going to look different when you’re training toddlers than when you’re educating older teens – which may explain why this writer feels at a loss this year, even though she may have been homeschooling for more than a decade.

Or maybe she’s only recently pulled all her kids out of school to teach them at home and she’s trying to figure it out because it’s all brand new to her. I don’t know.

But I’ll do my best to answer the question: “What are my responsibilities and why”

I’d say our first responsibility is to…

(1) Lay a good foundation

In 1 Corinthians 3:11-12, Paul writes: “By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one must be careful how he builds. For no one can lay a foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.”

Parents would do well to remember this, too. As a parent, you are your child’s first and most important teacher, whether you choose to homeschool or not. So I’d recommend starting with that foundational teaching and spiritual training.

The Bible instructs ALL parents to “train up a child in the way he should go” (Proverbs 22:6) and to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4) and to diligently teach God’s Word to you children “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (Deuteronomy 6:7)

Of course, I realize not all homeschoolers are Christians. In fact, I’ve occasionally heard from non-believing parents who want to teach their kids at home but want to use a non-religious curriculum to do it – and they write to ask whether I can offer any recommendations.

So I tell them, it depends: If by “non-religious” you mean “non-Christian,” the answer is yes, such programs are available. In fact, one of my favorite suppliers offers a non-religious version of their curriculum kits.

But if by “non-religious” you mean “philosophically neutral,” I would have to say no.

That’s because every book, every curriculum ever published was authored by someone or some group who holds to some system of belief based on presuppositions (even if that system is atheism or secular humanism), and those beliefs and presuppositions will inevitably inform and influence what is written, to a greater or lesser degree — maybe not discernibly in fields like mathematics or electrical engineering, but certainly (and often blatantly) in courses such as biology and history and literature and ethics.

That’s one of the primary reasons our family chose to homeschool in the first place. Not that we think every assignment in every subject should be turned into some sort of Sunday school lesson — in fact, I strongly dislike most “preachy” sounding textbooks and moralizing literature.

Nor do we think every book our children read needs to be written by a Christian — we enjoy reading and discussing a wide variety of books from broad range of authors.

But we do keep the author’s worldview in mind as we read. We want to be cognizant of the perspective from which each book is written. And we try to examine every idea we encounter in light of Biblical truth, which we consider foundational to all of life and learning.

So, laying this sure foundation – “a tested stone, a precious cornerstone” as Isaiah 28:16 calls it – and building my life and my children’s education upon the solid rock instead of shifting sands, is what I would consider my first responsibility as a homeschooler. Because everything is much more likely to come crashing down if I neglect that task.

(2) Pray for God’s blessing

Maybe I should’ve put that as #1, but I guess you need a biblical worldview and understanding to even recognize your great need for God’s help in every other endeavor….

Psalm 127:1 tells us, “Unless the LORD builds a house, they who build it labor in vain; unless the LORD guards a city, the watchman stays awake in vain.”

This principle is not only true for construction workers and security guards, but for homeschool parents, as well!

Unless the LORD blesses our efforts to teach and train our children, unless He protects their hearts and minds from the absolute garbage that is constantly jockeying for their attention in this online, screen-infested world, unless He gets a hold of their willful insistence upon their own way and draws them to Himself by grace through faith, then we as parents will just be spinning our wheels trying to teach them anything.

Success – in school, in family relationships, in LIFE – comes only through the LORD, and so we must humbly pray for His mercy and grace and blessing and guidance and wisdom. We need it every minute of every day. We need to pray and keep praying, ask and keep asking, for our own sake and for the sake of our children!

Then, as God faithfully provides everything we need to do all that He has called us, as homeschooling parents, to do (and He will, if we faithfully beseech Him to do so! He has promised to “supply all [our] needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus,” as Philippians 4:9 plainly tells us), the next thing you need to do as a homeschool mom is to  

(3) Teach your child to love learning

Unfortunately, even moms who are confident in their ability to teach their kindergarteners and grade schoolers are often plagued by self-doubt as their kids get older and approach high school. They’re not sure they’re up to the task. They’re intimidated by subjects they feel unqualified to teach. And they’re afraid of leaving gaps in their child’s education.

Well, as a mother who has ushered 12 children from diapers to diplomas —all of whom, except my youngest, have graduated and gone on to college, half of whom are married with children of their own whom they’re either currently homeschooling or planning to, and all of whom have been extremely successful in their chosen professions and careers – I can assure you that your kids WILL have knowledge gaps – just like mine do and just like both their parents do.

But that is going to be true whether you teach your child at home or send him to the local public school or spend top dollar to enroll him in the most exclusive private school you can find.

Your job as a homeschool mom is NOT to teach your child everything there is to know. That is not even possible. Human knowledge is currently doubling every 12-13 months. I’ve read some projections that suggest, in the near future, human knowledge may double every 12 hours. There’s simply no way for any one person – other than the omniscient God of the Universe – to know and understand everything without exception.

So we can’t teach our kids everything there is to know. But it’s actually not even our job to teach our children everything they need to know.

Instead, My goal as a homeschool mom is to model for my children a love for learning myself, to instill in them that same love for learning by the grace of God and to the best of my abilities, and to teach them how to learn – including how to read and write and do math – so that they are better able to learn whatever they need to know whenever they need to know it.

Academics are not the most important thing, but that is not to say they are unimportant. The book of Proverbs is replete with admonitions to study and learn and apply ourselves to the pursuit of knowledge and understanding:

• Proverbs 4:7 – “Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”
• Proverbs 24:3-4 – “By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; and by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches.”
• Proverbs 23:23 – “Invest in truth and never sell it—in wisdom and instruction and understanding.”

There are many, many more – as well as related verses in other books of the Bible. This is just a very small sample.

But, the bottom line is: I want my kids to value wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. I want them to view God as the source of wisdom, knowledge, and understanding. And I want to equip them to pursue wisdom, knowledge, and understanding – not just for the time they spend in school, but until the day they die. I want my kids to be life-long learners. And I want to be a life-long learner myself.

So that is what I would consider a homeschool’s responsibility: Building a solid foundation, prayerfully modeling a love for learning, and doing what you can to stoke that same love in the hearts of your children by fanning the flames of their natural curiosity, teaching them the basics of reading, writing, and arithmetic, and showing them how to fill in

The specifics will vary from home to home and family to family and age to age, but in very broad terms, that’s where I’d recommend you start. Which brings me to the next question on my list:

2. How soon should you start formal lessons?

I’ve gotten several messages lately from moms asking about preschoolers and kindergarteners and whether I have any suggestions regarding how early they should start formal homeschool lessons.

The answer is, yes, I have lots of specific suggestions for teaching preschoolers, because I asked essentially that same question of a trusted homeschooling mentor over thirty-five years ago, when my oldest children were approaching kindergarten age.I shared the excellent advice my friend gave me in Episode 67 of this podcast, which I’ll link in the show notes in case you are wondering the same thing. I don’t want to rehash all of that here, but, in general, I’d recommend you don’t get in too big a hurry to do desk work with your pre-schoolers. There are better, more effective ways for little ones to learn during this season of life than crouched over a workbook with pencil in hand, including activities like…

• Taking walks
• Playing games
• Reading books
• Singing songs
• Doing crafts
• Going on field trips

And other things like that. That’s not to discourage “book learning,” but to balance it.

So if you are itching to get started because your child has been eating up everything “bookish” you’ve done this year or is eager to begin “real school”, then go for it, covering the material at whatever pace is comfortable for you and your little ones.

But don’t buy into the notion that learning is something that happens only when some textbook is out and open. Education – especially in the early years – should encompass far more than workbooks and drills.

That’s one of the benefits of home education — parents aren’t obligated to duplicate classroom learning, but can take advantage of a wide variety of other means to impart knowledge, communicate truth, and foster a lifetime love of learning in their little ones.

Now, my third question…

3. How do I schedule lessons for multiple students & multiple ages?

Was actually something one of my daughters-in-law texted me a couple of weeks ago. She writes…

I’m planning for our homeschool year. What did you use to organize your thoughts when you had lots of kids and subjects to juggle?

Well, the response I sent her included a link to an article I’d written on that topic many years ago, while I was still in the middle of that kind of planning and organization myself: trying to schedule multiple children in multiple grade levels with multiple subjects each needed to cover.

 I’ll link that post in today’s show notes along with a sample of our school schedule from years past when I was still teaching eight to ten students every day.

That schedule looks a lot different now, when I’m down to just one junior who does most of her work independently!

The resource I mention in the post—a lesson planning system called Managers of Their Homes by Terri Maxwell—is something a friend of mine loaned me about the time we moved to Tyler.

It’s a simple and straightforward concept: You divide each day into half-hour increments, make a list of all the chores, lessons, activities each family member needs to accomplish every day, transfer those tasks onto tiny, square, color-coded sticky notes (a different color for each child), then set about trying to fit everything together on a master hour-by-hour chart, like a giant jigsaw puzzle.

The book is still available, and I’m pretty sure it comes prepackaged with all the little colored squares, so I’ll link that in the show notes in case you’re interested.

But back when I read the book, I didn’t have the kit. So I just adapted the concept and used a chart I drew myself with a column for each child and a row for each hour of the school day.  Doing so helped me see at a glance what each student was supposed to be doing at any given time. And it helped with things like ensuring each child had a scheduled time to practice the piano or do math drills on the computer or work on their typing skills, which eliminated bottlenecks and arguments that might otherwise arise when two or more children wanted to do piano or Mavis Beacon at the same time.

So I used that method every new school year to prayerfully create our “ideal” schedule, although I could probably count on one hand the number of times per year we had a day go exactly according to plan.

Yet just having it all written down and knowing that it was hypothetically possible to fit everything in, kept our momentum moving forward and let everyone know what they were supposed to be doing “next” — even when our transitions weren’t timed to the exact minute.

That little chart kept us all more-or-less on-track and helped us develop a routine, so that we were able to accomplish much more individually and as a group than we would’ve had we just been flying by the seat of our pants…. So I would highly recommend the exercise, but would also encourage you to stay flexible and hold to your “perfect schedule” with open hands and realize from the beginning that it is just a tool to help your days run more smoothly, not an angry drill sergeant to be obeyed without question. And don’t let it turn you into a harsh taskmaster, either.

Your children will learn to appreciate the guidance and flow a flexible schedule provides. But they won’t enjoy the stress, the spiked cortisol levels, or the micro-management that occurs when you turn this tool into an uncompromising dictator. So resist the urge to do that.

Now, my daughter-in-law is not the only listener who’s asked me about homeschool schedules and teaching multiple grade levels. A few weeks ago, I also received the following letter. It reads:

My answer to this mom is, first of all, to give yourself a little grace. You just had a new baby less than two months ago. It is okay to ease back into homeschooling as you adjust to your postpartum life as a mother of four. Use this time to read books to your children while you rock the baby and the toddler plays on the floor. That will keep you making forward progress without feeling like you have to jump back into individualized lesson plans with both feet so soon after giving birth.

Then, as you grow stronger and baby starts sleeping better and your routine at home regains a sense of normalcy, you can add more subjects and individual tutoring.

As for practical advice for doing that, I’d say that…

When my children were all younger, it really helped me to stagger wake up times. I’d sneak into their bedroom early in the morning and wake the oldest up first so we could knock out the most intensive one-on-one subjects while younger siblings were still asleep (at least theoretically; sometimes I ended up nursing a baby while teaching early morning math lessons or listening to my older kids read).

After I’d finished tutoring the oldest, I’d tip-toe in and wake the next oldest up to go over lessons. And I’d continue down the line from there.

Although I was quite the night owl back in college, once I started having children I began to morph into a morning person. So we’d start school by 6 or 7 AM each day. I had a couple of kids who loved to get up early, just like I do, so for a few years while those were in high school, our school day started at 5:00 in the morning.

Now I have one 16-year-old night owl who seldom meets me for lessons before 10 AM. So I get a lot of writing and reading (and podcast recording) done before we ever crack open the books.

Obviously, we’re all different. That goes for Moms and kids, as well. And you’ve got to find something that works for you right now, knowing that whatever strategy makes the most sense today will probably change in years to come.

So stay flexible and teach the children you have, in the time that you have, using the resources you have, and don’t worry if your homeschooling bears little resemblance to what is done by your friend or sister or the woman on the podcast you listen to. That’s okay.

Bear in mind that children who attend conventional school sit in class for 7-8 hours a day, but a lot of that is just crowd control. As a homeschooler, you will likely be able to finish the bulk of your teaching in a fraction of the time – even when your kids are in the early grades and still need a lot of help from you.

Something else you might try–and something that really worked well in our family (especially as the age gap between youngest and oldest student grew wider and wider)—was to assign each older child a 30-minute time slot for entertaining little ones while I worked one-on-one with another sibling.

My kids, young and old, actually loved this. I remember one time, a brother was precisely 2 minutes late handing the baby off to the next in line, and the one who was taking over insisted on getting 32 minutes as well – just to keep things fair. He looked at the clock, saw it was 8:32, did some quick mental math, and told us, “That means I get the baby until 9:04, then David can have her until 9:36.”

Some years, especially once my student body started spanning preschool to high school, I’d assign subjects for older kids to cover with littles while I did lessons with siblings. One child might oversee arts & crafts or penmanship for 15-30 minutes, another would work puzzles or play strategy games with the littles for half an hour, and still another would do science experiments or nature studies for the same length of time. Assignments largely depended on the particular interests of both parties.

That worked out great. One of the best ways to cement what you are learning in your memory is to teach the material to another person, so it benefited both teacher and student. Plus, all my kids love arts and crafts, so the opportunity to plan a special project to do (and permission to raid mom’s craft closet for the necessary supplies) was a welcome break from their own homeschool lessons and helped older kids bond with younger siblings, and vice versa.

Jesus tells us, “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” (Matt. 6:21)

One of the biggest treasures you or I or any of our children will ever have is time. So when we, as parents, orchestrate ways for our kids to invest their time in one another, helping, encouraging, teaching, and bonding, we make it more likely that their hearts will be knit together in the process.

In addition to staggering wake-up times and planning activities for older kids to do with their younger siblings, yet another thing that really helped when I was trying to teach multiple grade levels simultaneously was to knock out as many subjects as possible as a group. So, while I’d do reading and math lessons with each child individually, I normally covered subjects like history and literature and science by reading aloud while everyone listened.

The younger kids would spend this story time playing quietly on the floor with Lego or Duplo blocks or Lincoln Logs, or drawing or doodling in their seats while I read aloud.

I’d pause to explain any unfamiliar words or concepts as we read through classic novels or history books or a series of science books we love called Exploring Creation. (I’ll include a link in the show notes to some of my favorite curricula for each subject.)

Most of the time, you couldn’t tell by looking that my youngest kids were paying a lick of attention, which was fine with me, as long as they stayed quiet, because I knew we’d eventually circle back around to that same subject again and they’d be old enough to grasp more of the information the next time they heard it.

Yet I was amazed at how often one of my four- or five- or six-year-olds would reference something I’d read months earlier to their older siblings. And that little one, who didn’t even appear to be listening at the time, would essentially quote what I’d read verbatim and with obvious understanding.

Of course, doing lessons this way means my children didn’t study everything in the same order—astronomy in 1^st grade, botany in 2^nd, biology in 3^rd, etc. But, by the end of grade school, each of them would have cycled through every book in the series and be ready to start higher level classes.

The next question is related to this same topic. Another FB follower messaged me to ask

4. How do I stay on top of chores without falling behind in lessons?

She writes:

My answer there is hearty agreement that the more children you have, the more the chores multiply.

But helping hands multiply, as well. So my suggestion is to schedule chores just like you schedule math and spelling and science lessons. After all, learning to cook and take care of your personal space and stay on top of dishes and laundry are all valuable life skills. So stop viewing that to-do list as something separate from lessons or something you have to attend to all by yourself with whatever meager reserves of energy remain after a long school day.

Yes, it is true that, in the beginning, you can do the work yourself much faster than you can walk a child through the steps necessary to do the exact same chore. But teach them, anyway. The time invested will be worth all the effort it took once your children learn to pitch in and work beside you happily and heartily. And they will if you remain faithful to train them in this area.

What such training looked like for us is that I would assign a new chore to each of my kids every January, and they would spend an entire year doing that same task. One would empty the dishwasher every day, another would be in charge of setting the table, another would sweep the floor after each meal, another would take out the trash, and another was in charge of wiping off the counters.

I’ll link a couple of posts in today’s show notes that give more details about how this worked. We’d parse the tasks according to age and ability. But the nice thing about trading just once a year is that it almost completely eliminated arguments about whose turn it was to do what.

Also, with 12 months of practice, my children got very good – and very efficient – at doing their assigned chores. And by the time they were grown and ready to leave home, both our boys and our girls had taken a year-long turn at doing just about every routine task required to keep a home running smoothly and efficiently, including meal prep, laundry, and lawn care.

I consider all that an important part of their education. Sadly, it’s knowledge that’s been sorely neglected in a lot of young people’s lives. That means, when they grow up and launch out on their own, they have to start from scratch with little to no understanding or experience cooking, cleaning, and keeping house, which is a handicap it may take them years to overcome.

While we’re on the topic of clean and orderly homes, let’s discuss another question I received recently:

5. What records/papers should I keep and what can I throw away?

“Hello! What did you end up doing with all your kids’ completed schoolwork? Binders? Straight in the trash?”

This was another message one of my daughters-in-law texted me recently, but I’ve gotten the same question from a lot of other homeschool moms over the years. They want to know, “What papers and records can I safely throw away, which do I need to keep, and how do I keep everything organized – especially as we add more and more children/students to our homeschool family?

The official answer to that question will largely depend on where you live, as different states have different requirements when it comes to homeschooling. So, before you start shredding all your children’s old penmanship pages and math drills, you’ll probably want to check into what (if any) records your state requires you to provide as proof of homeschooling.

Fortunately for me, I live in Texas, where home schools are considered private schools (and given the same freedoms). All we are required by the state of Texas to do is to use a bona fide curriculum for reading, spelling, grammar, and mathematics, and to teach a course in good citizenship. There is no teacher certification or testing or notification of intent required, although you should probably let the school district know if you decide to pull your kids out of public school to homeschool. But we didn’t even have to do that, because we homeschooled from the start, so our kids were never on any school rolls to begin with.

So, the decision about what schoolwork to keep and what to toss was left entirely up to my personal preference.

I kept a smattering of writing samples and childhood drawings and maybe even a math drill or two, all of which are either glued into scrapbooks or kept in a very minimal file folder, but I tossed just about everything else. After homeschooling 12 children and several grandkids, we’d be buried under an avalanche of papers if I’d tried to keep it all.

Once they got to high school, I also kept copies of any standardized test scores, including CLEP exams and SATs, plus an official high school transcript for each child (I’ll link to the exact template I used in today’s show notes in case you need one, too. I designed it myself. It is editable and 100% free).

I’m afraid this episode is going to be too long to finish in one sitting – especially since I need to pack, because my lone homeschooling daughter has to leave bright and early in the morning to go to Volleball Nationals in Kansas, and I’m going with her — so I think I’ll save the rest of the questions for next week.

I hope you’ll join me then to talk about dealing with bad attitudes, nurturing your marriage amid hectic homeschool schedules, and what to do when somebody – maybe the teacher, maybe a student – feels ready to throw in the towel and quit homeschooling altogether.