A Husband’s Duty: To Love His Wife
For any readers who may have thought it unfair for me to discuss a wife’s responsibility to show respect for her husband without mention of the husband’s obligation to love his wife, I offer this companion list for men: 25 Ways to Show Love to Your Wife.
It’s good stuff. My husband wrote it, but more importantly, he lives it. You’ll find the full list posted on his blog, All Truth is God’s Truth. Read it, print it, share it with your husband, but please don’t wait for him to make the first move. Your demonstrating sincere respect for him will make it easier for him to feel genuine love towards you, and vice versa.
I find this list just as offensive as the last. 90% of this list is just telling the man to stop being a pig. We as women are supposed to bow down, please him at every cost, clean up the house, cook, pleasure him whenever he desires and he is supposed to– leave the seat down and remember to bathe. Not seeing the fairness here.
I thought both list were great! I agree with them 100%!
Why are there so many comments when you suggest behaviors for women, and only 13 on your husbands post that suggests behaviors for men?
I think more women than men are reading these posts, and many of them find the notion that a wife should dress to please her husband and give him sex when he asks for it more offensive than my husband’s suggestion that a man should listen to his wife, seek her counsel, and put the toilet seat back down. Hence, I’ve received much more flak for my list than my husband has for his.
Hello, I don’t know if you can give me any advice or not but I am going to ask and see if you can help me. I am a mother of 7 (3 step children, 3 of my own and 1 together with my husband). We all get along great together except for me and my youngest stepson who is 6. Before we got married when he came to see his dad, it was always just the two of them for the most part and he didn’t have to share his dad with anyone. Well, now that we are married and we now have a daughter together, when he comes it is not always just him and his dad. We always make sure that they do have some daddy and son time, but we are now a family and we do things together. My stepson used to tell me that he loves me and give me hugs and was just as excited to see me, but here recently…he won’t hug me and he will not tell me that he loves me anymore. He is always wanting just him and and his dad to do things together by themselves. He tends to act like he is 2 or 3 and whines when he doesnt get what he wants. Sometimes now I dread when he comes to visit…I know that this is so wrong and believe me, I am praying and asking God to help me. What do I do and how do I handle this? I love him just as I love the others and my own, but when it is obvious that he does not care for me…I don’t know how to handle this! If you have any suggestions, please help me. I am a believer in Christ and my husband and I pray together daily and he knows how I feel, but he doesn’t know how to handle it either. How do we talk to our son for him to understand that we are a family and that I love him and that I do not want to take his mothers spot, but I do want respect.
Thank you,
Delane
Hi, Delane.
Your stepson is likely feeling a little displaced now that he must share your attention with your new daughter. I recommend you be patient with him and continue to show him lots of affection. Don’t let his coldness hurt your feelings or convince you to give up trying.
Make an especial point to involve him as much as possible in caring for his new sister. Say things like, “Oh, look how she’s smiling at you. She must really like you,” or “You do such a good job holding her. She’s lucky to have a big brother like you.” This will help alleviate any feelings of jealousy that may have arisen toward her.
I’d also recommend that you keep on giving your stepson plenty of hugs. Tell him, “You may not like hugs anymore, but I still do.” I once read that kids need at least seven hugs a day for optimum health. I remind my children of that fact whenever they go through stages of not wanting to hug. If he still refuses to cooperate, substitue patting him on the back, rumpling his hair, kissing him on the forehead, or giving other such tokens of affection. When you tell him you love him and he doesn’t answer, lead him through the desired response in a relaxed, breezy way. “Johnny, when I tell you I love you, you’re supposed to say, ‘I love you, too, Mommy.’ Okay? okay. So come on, let’s practice.”
Fantastic! To be perfectly honest I had stumbled across the previous post about Wives and respecting their husband on Pinterest and was at first infuriated. While I respect the views shared as well as the right anyone has to believe and practice them, I cannot entirely agree.After reading most comments on the previous post and reading both sides I found a few things to be less than desirable. I grew up Roman Catholic. I went to Sunday School every week, I attended mass with my family every week and on recognized holidays. However, now being in my late twenties I have adopted a new way of thinking. I do not attend Sunday services anymore, because I do not agree with a lot of what is preached. Although, I do consider myself to still be a spiritual person, I believe in God for the most part, but at the end of the day I am content with the facts of my life. I have always said, “Just because you are part of a religion doesn’t make you a religious/spiritual person.” Which brings me to a few things that concerned me. After reading a few of the comments that were for the previous post. It disturbed me that it was implied (before the post on how men should love their wives) that if a wife does not follow these “guidelines” and if you and your husband have a “mutual love” for each other, essentially your marriage is doomed because eventually that love will die. I completely disagree with that statement. I have been with my husband since we were 16. It will be 11 years this December that we have been together and 4 years this October that we have been married and I could never even imagine being with anyone else. So, for someone to say or even think that our marriage would not last purely because we do not follow the Christian way is insulting. I know the Christian way, I grew up the Christian way. Just because I have chosen to not go to church and spew out lines from the bible as a way to placate a person’s opposing view points, does not make me or my marriage any less worthy. My husband and I are equals, and yes that means we sometimes argue because we don’t always agree with each other. However, we respect each other and what we both think and feel enough to let the other know, so the marriage is better for it. If I disagree with him and I think it is worth discussing, then it gets discussed and vice versa. If us both working a long day means we both end up in sweats and hanging out on the couch, me makeup wiped clean off, glasses on. Him, a little worn and sweaty from the day then so be it. I don’t look at him differently neither does he to me. We accept each other for who the other is and love each other endlessly. If I need to ask him to pick up his clothes off the floor, I do, If he needs to ask me to move my hair products off the bathroom sink, he does. Marriage isn’t one sided. Being a leader or a follower should never be an assigned role, but roles that should be shared. When one needs to be a follower then the other leads, and that means the husband is not always the leader and believe it or not, that is okay. Love is not simply black and white, what works for one couple may not work for the next, and it does not make them wrong. Christianity isn’t THE answer to a happy marriage. My marriage will not end in divorce because I have decided to disagree with some of your “guidelines”. Love is love, my friends, whether a man died on the cross for it or not.
Michelle,
I wish i could find the post you were upset about but i cant seem to. However you said a few things that got me thinking. You said religion well thats the problem religion is dead. Christianity is about relationship with Jesus Christ. It sounds like you had religion and not relationship. I hope you embrace the opportunity to develop a relationship withChrist.The marriage vows are based on the word. The word tells us to respect our husbands and for husbands to love us. It also says we are to submit to one another and it sounds like you and your hubby do that.I have been married 20yrs and a couple for23yrs. Marriage does work better when you are in relationship with God the father son and holy spirit. To be honest if it wasnt for the Holy Spirit I know my marriage wouldnt of lasted. There are things I just didnt understand about my husband but the Holy Spirit helped me to understand and gave me wisdom on how to approach him. Church services is to fill you up, serve the Lord and to be able to go back into the world and minister to the people he sends your way. It is also to help you fellowship with fellow believers, the word says do not forsake assembling together. Well I just wanted to share that with you and please know this comes from a place of love and nothing else. Stay blessed!