EP 79: Let’s Adopt a Winston Churchill Mindset in Marriage

Little known fact: Today (April 9) is Winston Churchill Day in the US. So today, I’m taking some of my favorite quotes from the British Bulldog, examining them in light of scripture, and applying them to marriage. I hope you’ll listen in!

Winston Churchill Gives Sound Marriage Advice

Full transcript of Episode 79

Hello, Friend. Welcome to Episode 79 of Loving Life at Home. This week, we’re talking about marriage.

I’m a little late posting this episode. I have two graduating seniors this year – my youngest son and oldest grandson, both of whom I homeschool. Actually, we have four graduates this spring – another son is finishing nursing school this month, and my oldest daughter is completing a pediatric dental fellowship. But the high school graduation preparations are what is monopolizing so much of my time lately, what with senior videos to make and yearbook pages to finish and portraits and bios to submit for the programs and invitations to design and print and address and mail.

All to say – that’s why my podcast is a couple of days late this week.

But it all worked out, because it just so happens that today, Wednesday, April 9^th, is Winston Churchill Day. Did you know that?

It’s not his birthday or the day he died. Instead, today marks the 62nd anniversary of Churchill’s being made an honorary U.S. citizen.

So it seems fitting to spend a few minutes today reflecting on some of the words of wisdom for which this great statesman of Great Britain is so well known.

Apparently, Winston Churchill exercised the same dogged determination in love as he exhibited in war: Despite the pivotal role he played in WWII, he often boasted that his “most brilliant achievement” was persuading his wife to marry him. Isn’t that sweet? And humble?

When Churchill passed away at the age of 90, he and Clementine had been married 56 years.

So today I’m sharing a few of my favorite quotes from the British Bulldog. Had Winston Churchill been a marriage counselor rather than a Prime Minister, I imagine his marriage advice would have sounded something like this:

• “The price of greatness is responsibility.”

Want a great marriage? Then don’t just twiddle your thumbs, waiting for your spouse to create it for you. Take responsibility. Take ownership. Do everything in your power to make your marriage the absolute best it can be.

I know a lot of wonderful single women – including several of my own daughters — who would absolutely love to be married. And I know a lot of widows who would love to have their husbands back at their side, alive and well.

So if God has given you a husband, steward that gift well. Love him. Appreciate him. Communicate respect to him. And build him up every chance you get.

Luke 12:48 puts it this way: “From everyone who has been given much, much will be required; and to whom they entrusted much, of him they will ask all the more.”

Churchill also said:

• “The first quality that is needed is audacity.”

A great marriage requires bold risk-taking. It takes a hundred-percent, sold-out, do-or-die commitment. No holding back. No hedging your bets. You’ve got to give it your all, pouring body, soul, and spirit into making your relationship everything God intends for a marriage to be.

When you hesitate, waiting to see if things work out, holding back a reserve in case they don’t, those doubts can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. Instead, let’s love our spouse with abandon.

Romans 12:10 tells us “Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.” The ESV translates that last part, “Outdo one another in showing honor.”

It reminds me of a book I read recently called Unreasonable Hospitality by Will Guidara. (I’ll be sure to link that in the show notes.)  Subtitled, “the remarkable power of giving people more than they expect,” and it was about all the lavish ways the restaurant Eleven Madison Park found to serve people who came to eat at what was eventually earned the top Michelin star rating and was named the best restaurant in the world.

Don’t you want to serve your husband and family with that same kind of dedication? Can you imagine the ripple effect that kind of audacious love might have?

More of Churchill’s words of wisdom:

• “Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.”

This is SO TRUE in every area of life, and marriage is no exception. Want a happy marriage? Cultivate a happy heart. Dwell on the positive. Be loving, patient, cheerful, kind, and quick to forgive.

As we discussed last week in Ep 78, your mindset matters. That’s why Phil 4:8 commands us, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is anything excellent and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”

Another Churchill quote I love?

• “We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.”

It seems to me this is one of those quotes I’ve seen attributed to multiple different sources, Winston Churchill being one of them (and maybe Abraham Lincoln being another? I don’t remember for sure, but let’s roll with it anyway:

Marriage is much more about making a life than making a living. When you focus on what you can GIVE rather than on what you can GET, you stand a better chance of making that life wonderful in every way.

Jesus tells us in Luke 6:38, “Give, and it will be given to you. They will pour into your lap a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over. For by your standard of measure it will be measured to you in return.”

That’s the paradox of Christianity, “whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.”  The longer I live, the more convinced I become that you can’t outgive God. Again, that is true in life, and especially true in marriage.

Winston Churchill also quipped:

• “‘No comment’ is a splendid expression. I am using it again and again.”

Don’t feel obligated to spout off everything that pops into your mind. Some things are better left unsaid. Be slow to speak, as James 1:19 tells us to do (“This you know, my beloved brethren. But let everyone be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger…”)

Weigh your words carefully. If you can think of nothing worthy to say, say nothing. Harlan Miller once said, “Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid.” I believe that with my whole heart!

Another astute observation made by Churchill:

• “Kites rise highest against the wind – not with it.”

Do hardships send your marriage spiraling to the ground? Pressures spin you out of control? Stay anchored and work together as a team. You’ll rise above the buffeting winds and soar higher than you ever thought possible.

There are so many verses that underscore this truth:

“Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance.” – James 1:2-3

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in various trials / so that the proven character of your faith—more precious than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory, and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” – 1 Peter 1:6-7

“For our light and momentary affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory that is far beyond comparison.” – 2 Cor 4:17

“No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields a harvest of righteousness and peace to those who have been trained by it.” – Hebrews 12:11

More great advice from the British Bulldog:

• “If you’re going through hell, keep going.”

Push through your misery — don’t sit down and wallow in it. Just as the joy of holding a newborn follows the intense pain of childbirth, couples who pull together and work through their problems report feeling far happier and more deeply satisfied afterward than those who let difficulties drive them apart.

I don’t remember the exact numbers, but of couples who ranked their marriages as very unhappy yet stuck together anyway, the majority of them reported being extremely happy with that same partner just five years later. I’m pretty sure I originally read the statistic in one of Shanti Feldhahn’s books – maybe in The Good News about Marriage?

We are not alone in the valley. God is able to bring us out again on the other side. As Isaiah 41:10 tells us, “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be afraid, for I am your God. I will strengthen you; I will surely help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.”

Then we can say with the Psalmist, “Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; For You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” -Psalm 23:4

Which brings me to my last Churchill quote and arguably his most famous:

• “Never give in! Never give in! Never, never, never, never.”

This was Churchill’s strategy in dealing with the enemy during WWII. Let it be yours, as well. If your marriage is to survive, you must repel anything that would threaten to destroy it — “great or small, large or petty” — with unyielding tenacity.

Let’s draw encouragement from Phil 4:13, “I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”

Or Galatians 6:9, “Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.”

Every marriage will face adversity sooner or later. How will you respond when it comes? Will you panic, throw up your hands in despair, and watch your marriage crumble before your eyes? Or will you do as Churchill urged and meet each new challenge with “intense vigilance and exertion,” doing all that is necessary to protect and preserve life on the home front?

Couldn’t your marriage use a dose of that kind of moxie? Don’t you want to channel the same tenacity Churchill displayed? The good news is, if you are in Christ, you already have all the resources you need to serve cheerfully, to stay committed, and to prevail against any and every attack the enemy launches at you!

Jesus promises in John 15:5, ““I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; [but] apart from me you can do nothing.”

More Tried and True Marriage Tips

The Word of God is full of wisdom for every facet of life, but we’ve found it especially helpful in building a happy, healthy marriage. For a fascinating look at how science has confirmed the superiority of God’s design, check out my book Love Your Husband, Love Yourself.