Bloom Where You’re Planted


I’ll never forget my first talent show. I was in fifth grade and could hardly wait to take center stage!

I had a nice singing voice, so my parents, teachers, and friends encouraged me to sing a solo for the program. But in my mind, singing was too common, too boring. I wanted to do something unique, something unexpected, something unforgettable.

So rather than stick with singing, which was something I was good at and felt comfortable doing, I chose to do something I had absolutely no talent for and looked like a bull in a china closet even attempting: gymnastics.

I’d taken gymnastics briefly before, just long enough to tumble in the gym’s Spring Recital. I was the girl performing the routine on the sidelines. My coach singled me out to be a “line leader” so that the rest of the class could watch me—me!—and thereby stay together. Although it would be several years before I realized it, this was in reality a shameless ploy for getting the tall clumsy redhead out of the lineup, so her awkward performance wouldn’t mar the effect of an entire class of pixies cartwheeling, somersaulting, and pirouetting in perfect unison.

Long story short, my tumbling routine at the talent show was a miserable failure. I fell into a row of folding chairs and made a terrible racket, so the emcee closed the curtains on me early, before I could break something. Inwardly, I chafed. If only I’d had more time, better lighting, a fancier costume, stronger muscles, a more clever coach… then I could have been the star of the show.

But God had given me neither the talent nor the body for gymnastics. What He had given me was a gift for music and a beautiful voice. If I had been smart, I would have taken that and run with it.

I’ve known many wives who waste a lot of precious time wishing their circumstances were different, wishing their husband was different. “If only he were more loving, more patient, more understanding, more driven, more successful, a stronger spiritual leader…. then I could be happy, then I could be a good wife, then I would obey God, then I would be the perfect Proverbs 31 lady.”

But God didn’t give you some other husband. God didn’t give you some other marriage. He gave you the one you have — and He expects you to run with it. He wants you to bloom where you’re planted. Don’t waste valuable time longing for your husband to be something he’s not. Love him for who he is right now, not who you thought he was when you married him, not who you wish he would become. Dedicate yourself to supporting and encouraging him in any way you can.

God chose you specially. He equipped you with unique talents, gifts, and abilities that perfectly complement your husband. You should be using those gifts to serve, to minister, to encourage, to help him in every way possible.

Want your marriage to bloom with a thriving beauty? Then pour yourself completely into the relationship. Shower your husband with self-sacrificing love. Nurture your marriage with gratitude and respect. The blossoms will soon burst forth in abundance, followed by the most delectable fruit you can imagine. One taste, and you’ll be glad that God planted you right where you are.


The above article was adapted from my book, LOVE YOUR HUSBAND/LOVE YOURSELF: EMBRACING GOD’S PURPOSE FOR PASSION IN MARRIAGE, pp. 273-275.